I have always wanted to be unique, and, at the same time, I just want to fit into the landscape - be anonymous - incognito. Since I was a kid people have said things like, "Maya, you're sooo weird!" Now that I am older, I tend to take that as a compliment. It is an indicator that maybe I am not just like the droning masses. With this title, however, comes a self-imposed responsibility to constantly push past boundaries that one's socialized brain presents. From this comes a fixation on finding an original thought, and this, in turn, is paralyzing.

In my art I am not satisfied to sample from nature or someone else's art. I am not satisfied to simply illustrate a basic idea or say that everything has already been done and so any attempt to make something new is futile. If this is so, I don't want to be part of perpetuating egotistical doldrums trying to pass as creativity - the racket. We like to think of ourselves as more important than we are, and we are happy to pat ourselves on the back for making something easy. We are animals. We don't like to be uncomfortable. We have emotional pain when we have to adjust to new situations and new ideas. We're not as amazing as we think we are. I may not ever succeed at making original art, but I know I will never be satisfied to simply produce safe work.

There aren't a lot of original minds in the art world, although it seems there would be. To be truly unique is to exist before one's time and be potentially misunderstood. So many artists seem to look to past artists for an indication of how to think and make. I understand the dangers of working in a vacuum, but I also feel there are dangers in too much artistic interaction. This is some deep soul shit, man, not some pedestrian venture. If we are to be real artists we have to go to the uncomfortable places where we, as animals, don't like to go. We need to go where no one else wants to go. We also have to feel safe to make mistakes, and think stupid ideas, and go through a process. We need to challenge ourselves and be challenged by others, but there are people you can trust with your soul and there are people you cannot.

I am not unique. I am just an animal with a big ego - just like everybody else. I may never be original, but I will not be complacent.