Aaaah - Reminiscing on the Days of Yore

My sister and I were flipping through photo albums at my Mom's house.  The moment I saw this photo, I knew it needed to be unleashed upon the world.  We kept coming across photos that had blissful looking parents in the foreground and offspring in the background looking like something was going terribly wrong.  This one example of that strange phenomenon had so many levels of wrong, we had to do something - namely embarrass ourselves by throwing it out there for the world to see.  

Then I thought, "why stop there?"  I looked through all of my old photos for the most embarrassing ones.  I found a couple okay ones, but I really wish I had my Mom's treasure trove of awkward moments caught on film.  Maybe I will have to make another trip to Georgia for a future installment.

At some point I went from being unintentionally goofy to intentionally so.  The transition was not a pretty one.  

I moved back home to go to art school, and my Mom took up the cause of finding me a husband.  This photo was part of an attempt to make me something of a mail order bride.  She knew someone who's son was supposedly looking for a wife.  He wasn't in the immediate area, so my Mom decided to send him a picture of me.  I actually posed for this photo knowing all of this.  I think she had worn me down by this point.  She made several matchmaking attempts during my time in the area.  I still haven't quite figured out why she was so insistent on finding me a man.  Maybe some throwback to a time when one might be considered an old maid by the age of 25.  She gets all of the credit for hair and clothing - also hinting at another era.

I must insert a photo of my sister all grown up.  Although the sunglasses had their appeal, I have to admit it's a comfort to know those days have passed.  

Maya at the Baseball Game

Maya went to a baseball game.  She thought, "it's our anniversary.  Yes, let's do something different!"  So she and her husband, Dennis, went to the game.  After missing the first actual play of the game because there was so much else to look at, she decided to really try to concentrate on the game itself.  She tried so very hard, but kept getting distracted by things like the home team's atrocious outfits.  Someone must have gotten a very good post-Christmas discount on cloth and then thought masking tape would make for good lettering. 

She liked the other team's outfits better.  

After two hours of watching 0,0 0,0 0,0 0,4 0,0 0,0 on the score board, Maya and Dennis got up to see what else they could see.  They saw and ate dag nasty pretzels, and Maya pondered the dag nasty flavorlessness that everyone else seemed to down with gusto.  She didn't finish hers despite the added appeal of mmmmmustard.  It really just started to seem like too much work to be worth it - mainly emotional.

After pretzels Maya and Dennis found a "Team Store" to check out hats and stuff.  Maya wandered off and found a stuffed toy stuffing cart.  Mesmerized by the swirling polyester fill, she stared for maybe a little too long.  

Back in their seats, the clown of baseball showed up.  Maya saw him from a distance earlier in the game and thought, "wow, there are definitely some creepy clowns out there."  She also worried a bit that he might have a heart attack every time he ran up the stairs in between rows.  As he got closer Maya imagined she could see a hint of loneliness in his eyes.  The lonely middle-aged clown of the Greenville Drive.  He seemed nice, but maybe just a bit over this whole baseball scene and ready to sit a spell in his La-Z-Boy with a Red Stripe and an episode of "I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here!"  Too bad "Speidi" is no longer on.  They really brought flair to the jungle.

At some point "Mackerel Jordan" came out onto the field and ate a ball boy.

Then "Mackerel Jordan" spit out the ball boy after stripping him down to his skivvies.  He gave new meaning to that title - ball boy.

The home team ended up winning 6 to nothing.  Maya was glad to have gone to the game and looks forward to going again on a Friday night when there will be fireworks!  

Some things I saw on my trip to Georgia:  

I saw some fire flies on a walk.  I took lots of pictures of them but only one posed properly.

I saw a lizard on my parents' porch.  

I saw tons of friggin' cuteness and a wee bit of contrariness  (no pictures to prove that one, though).  Mostly friggin' cuteness.  This picture documents the fact that downing one holly berry won't kill you (according to promptly called Poison Control), and you actually get a yummy snack of homemade bread and fruit smoothie if you partake of a bit of that poison goodness!  Mmmm, I think I'll have me one of those holly berries, please.  An interesting fact - Poison Control currently frowns on puking on any poisoning occasion.  Now we know.

I am visiting family in Georgia, and I couldn't find the extra computer power cable to bring with me.  Now I am trying to write under the pressure of only having 13% battery life left, while my step-father watches basketball, while I am tired.  I almost started writing what "bruno" (Sasha Baron-Cohen - is that his name?) was saying in an ad.  I am reveling in the fact that I am writing random crap currently.  Aaaaah.  Distracted crap.  

I am also loving the fact that at home I don't have TV.  TV is a brain suck.  Normally smart people seem to dumb down in front of it.  I am impressed by the crap they watch here. Seriously, take a week or 2 off tv - you will be like what the hell is this crap I was watching?!  And this coming from a tv addict.  TV=Stupid. 

I guess I should go.  I keep watching tv.  On that note here is a bunny.

I found this pig cutting board at a local thrift store, and I imagined that it had been used all of its life for cutting up real pig.  Somehow the thought of that seemed so insulting to pigs.  A mockery even.  I'll ponder the psychology of that someday.  So, I decided to take back some little bit of power in honor of THE PIG and buy this gem of a high school shop project to be used from here on out in totally meat-free cooking ventures.  

Last night I made a very green, beige and glossy dinner with the help of "piggy."  Lately I have been a bit of a bore when it comes to buying vegetables.  I tend to buy the same ones over and over.  Usually that includes sweet red, yellow or orange peppers, but not last night!  No, green and beige all the way.  When we lived in Western NY, we lived next to an elderly couple whose every possession seemed to be beige.  Beige car, clothing, house, carpet, furniture, dog.  It came to indicate to us a personality type, a perspective on life, a kind of human being.  It was a blandness that seemed to mutter, "well, that's what people do."  Last night at dinner I felt a slight and chilling brush with that beigeness.  Never again!  Okay, maybe one night when we've run out of peppers once more.

Why I Don't Like to Mow the Lawn, Why I Should and Why I Do

Mowing is a pretty good workout, and Lord knows I need those.  But I love our lawn when it is right on the verge of being out of control wild - like a mini prairie in the suburbs.  I love watching what comes up when finally given a chance to grow.  I feel like I get a better sense of what is in my yard hibernating, waiting for the right opportunity to thrive.  

Then the reality hits the fan - I've let this prettiness go on too long.  It is no longer on the edge of being out of control.  Now the charming little mounds of grass are so dense at their bases, they reduce my lawn mower to a choking, sputtering mess.  The stalling and restarting turns my one hour job into a four hour one.  Aw crap.

Also to be considered - my dog, Manny, a 16 and a half pound sprinting wonder.  His attempts to navigate grass and weeds much taller than himself don't make for a great time playing and running.  He gives up and stops showing interest in going out back.
Our neighbor comes over one morning - "Ya got snakes in yer yard."  Oh, right, we live in South Carolina.  I forgot all about copperheads.  Yeah, those make for quite a sting.  Hmmm.  Well, as it turns out, our neighbor informed us we had two black snakes runnin' around out there.  Even though black snakes are less scary, I started to visualize them downing Manny.  That very day I donned my mowing around snakes outfit and trudged out back to start my adventure.  Four hours later I wondered - did our neighbor just make that snake thing up because he was sick of looking at our crazy yard?  If so, good job!  Lawn is officially back down to suburban standards. If I didn't have snake fear, I would have just mowed pretty paths through the grass.  

Also, Manny is now very happy.  

Manny should have been the real reason I mowed, but instead I had to wait and then finally succumb to peer pressure and fear tactics to get my yard "presentable."  Next time - FOR MANNY!

I am making some pieces for  an art show in July with the group CAFfeine South here in Greenville.  The show is entitled Heaven/Hell, and I have decided to make a heaven souvenir shop installation.  One of my pieces is a "wish you were here" postcard with an image of "heaven clouds" in the background.  I have decided on the image I am going to use, but now I cannot keep my eyes off the sky, searching for amazing combinations of sun peeking through clouds making those crazy shooting rays.  Here are just a few of my recent manic cloud/sun gatherings.

There always has to be some dumb Days Inn obstructing the view.

And I forgot how intrusive power lines and traffic lights are until I actually (and finally!) looked up and out at my world and couldn't get a clean shot of the friggin' sky.  How disturbing.